My Biggest Photography Regret
In 2012, on my first official photo assignment I was sent up to the Yukon Territory to help Arctic Red River Outfitters trail a team of horses 200 miles across the Yukon and into Arctic Red’s hunting concession. It had been 30 years since someone had tried to trail horses in and the last time they tried, most of the horses died. This character building quest would shape my photography career in profound ways.
On Friday the 13th, on our 13th day of trailing horses we reached a narrow box canyon. The creek coming through the canyon was too swift and deep to ride the horses through so one-by-one we led them up a steep 200-foot embankment to get up and around the canyon. After we led the first few up to safety, the remaining horses couldn’t help themselves and began to run up the face. We lost control as a dozen horses, all at once, forced their way up the steep, dead-fall littered slope. 2 horses immediately lost their footing and rolled back down the embankment to the creek bottom, fortunately unscathed. Cookie, a large pack horse was at the head of the stampede. Half way up he tried to jump over a fallen log. When he lifted his front legs to go over, gravity took control and he began to tip backwards. The horse behind ran into Cookie causing him to tip over and fall. Cookie flipped head over hooves, careening down to the creek. Instead of falling safely down the embankment, he fell off a 30’ cliff and landed on his head right in the middle of the creek. I was drenched in water from the massive splash. 10 yards away submerged in the creek at the bottom of the box canyon lay Cookie, DEAD.
The wranglers and I were in shock at what had happened. Emotions took over and tears flowed. We lost Cookie, we questioned all of our decisions that led us to trying to lead the horses up and over and we wondered why the hell we were even on this crazy quest.
I distinctly remember the 3 wrangles kneeling on a gravel bar, one with tears covering her face as they looked up the box canyon to where Cookie lay. That visual is imprinted in my mind. In that moment, with camera in hand, I made a conscious decision to NOT take photos. It was a bad situation and I didn’t feel it needed to be remembered.
NOT taking photos when Cookie died is my biggest regret in my photography career. That was the most raw and emotional experience I have ever been apart of. I feared the wranglers would disapprove and I chose the path of least resistance and did NOT take an image.
I look back on that experience and am reminded to always shoot photos when emotions are high, even if the photo subject(s) are not thrilled. Emotional moments in hunting are everywhere from enduring tough pack-outs with heavy loads in gnarly weather, to the joy of a fresh cup of coffee in the morning. Viewers connect with emotion and as photographers we should all be aiming to connect with people through our images.
Below is a selection of emotional images from over the years. I hope these connect with you and inspire you to capture those emotional moments when we least want to take a photo.
